


Quincunx Part Three

by pollybywater



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crossover, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-08
Updated: 2002-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-21 02:19:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11347830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pollybywater/pseuds/pollybywater
Summary: Thanks to a certain meddling omnipotent entity, Krycek has joined Mulder in an alternate universe in which things are very different.  Will they learn what Q wants them to know?





	Quincunx Part Three

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Quincunx Part Three

## Quincunx Part Three

#### by Polly Bywater

Mulder paused before he rushed into the kitchen, taking a couple of deep, calming breaths and trying not to look like the hounds of hell were on his heels. The sheer normalcy of what he found served to further reassure. Alex and Scully were sitting at the table, looking rumpled and casual. The Sunday newspaper was lying in scattered sections between coffee cups and juice tumblers, while the dogs were on the floor idly scratching themselves. 

Scully looked at him over her glasses and quirked an eyebrow. 

"I see you lived through the night," she commented dryly, pushing his chair away from the table with her foot in silent welcome. 

Mulder flipped her a quick middle finger, something he would have done to his Scully's sarcasm, and this Scully laughed at him, just like his Scully would have. Alex snickered while Mulder fetched himself a cup of coffee and sat down. 

"Is Alexei awake?" Alex eventually asked to Mulder's nod. "Is he all right?" 

"Hung over. He thinks I'm an alternate reality Mulder," Mulder said with a sigh, and had to suffer through the speaking glance Alex exchanged with Scully. "I know. I _am_ an alternate reality Mulder. I mean, he doesn't think I'm from _his_ reality." 

"What made him think-" Alex started to ask, then shrugged. "That can keep, I suppose. Did you tell him about Dana and me?" 

"Uh, yeah," Mulder answered, wincing when he recalled how he'd just tossed off that little bombshell and walked out. _Ran_ out. 

Scully gave him another high-eyebrow inspection that made Mulder want to run from her, too. Apparently Scully in any universe could see right through him, and he'd given up trying to figure out how she always knew when he screwed something up. He could admit it, to himself at least. He'd handled that explanation poorly, but at the time all he could think of was his need to put some distance between himself and Alex Krycek. 

Alex Krycek. 

Shit. 

Mulder moved in his chair and winced again when the motion made his sweatpants tug on a few hairs. Rubbing his forehead, he remembered why his sweatpants were stuck to his skin in the first place. 

Double shit. 

"I need a shower." 

"You can use ours. I'd better get Alexei some clothes," Alex murmured, his eyes bright and expectant as he looked at his wife. "Not every day you get to meet yourself... a yourself that's not a clone, that is." 

"Mulder. Do you plan to tell him the truth?" 

Scully's question hung there for a moment, and Mulder had to force himself to meet her level blue gaze. 

"Not yet. He wouldn't believe me," Mulder confessed rather painfully, and saw comprehension cross those two familiar faces. He hoped they understood, because he couldn't bear to explain. He could hardly stand to think about it because it pointed to the heart of this entire mess. 

Alex- _his_ Alex- had said it himself. The Fox Mulder _he_ knew would never let Alex touch him. 

The Fox Mulder that _his_ Alex Krycek knew behaved with hostility and contempt, slinging punches and insults with impunity. 

The Fox Mulder sitting at the kitchen table was ashamed. 

It must have shown in his expression, because Alex got up and laid a warm hand on his upper back. 

"It'll work out, Mulder. Come with me. Don't you want to see his face when he sees me?" 

"Actually, I want to see his face when he sees you and Scully together," Mulder admitted, pushing aside his unsettled mood and standing to follow Alex. Funny, now that _his_ Alex was here, he could look at the Alex of this reality without feeling that unnerving desire. 

Christ, he was _so_ fucked. 

++++++++++++ 

They found Krycek sitting on the edge of the bed; the sheet wrapped around his waist leaving his upper body bare, and there it was- that sudden, gut-wrenching ache of want that made Mulder want to crawl between those long legs and beg for all manner of things. 

Krycek had been staring at his left hand as he slowly flexed his fingers. He glanced up at them when they walked in, gaze skipping over Mulder and catching on his double. His eyes went wide, then narrowed, and that chin lifted in silent challenge. His tone of voice, however, was as expressionless as Mulder had ever heard it and as effective as a cold shower. 

"So you're the me in this universe," he concluded offhandedly. 

"That's right. Krycek. Alex Krycek," Alex confirmed with a sudden grin, and Mulder caught his breath when his Alex's lips twitched in response. 

"Mulder here says you're married-" 

"-to Dana Scully. You got a problem with that?" Alex asked, his tone teasing. Krycek looked faintly amused and, Mulder thought, maddeningly unconcerned. 

"No problem here. A few questions, maybe." 

Mulder watched while they blatantly inspected each other, and took the opportunity to assess their differences as well as the obvious similarities. His Alex Krycek was thinner, with shorter hair and lines on his face that were less pronounced on the Alex of this reality. Beyond the physical, though, was the way his Alex closely guarded whatever emotions he felt, while the Alex who stood beside Mulder made no such effort. 

"You're pretty complacent about being in an alternate universe, Alexei," Alex noted, and the smile that was still hovering around his mouth broadened when his counterpart pointed one long finger in Mulder's direction, as if to say "look who's involved". They both ignored Mulder's insulted sniff. 

"So 'Alexei' was your idea?" 

"Dana's, actually. We thought it would reduce confusion. Is it going to bother you?" 

"No. It's kind of a nice change." Krycek shot a quick, unreadable glance at Mulder. "Over the last few years, 'Alex Krycek' has started to sound like a curse." 

"Hmm. You might enjoy this reality, then, because nobody here is going to say it like that," Alex informed him mildly. "There are clothes in the closet that should fit you. Once you're dressed, if you'll come on out to the kitchen I'll get you something for your headache." 

"What makes you think I have one?" 

"You were pretty wasted when you got here, and I know I couldn't get to that point without paying for it the next day." 

"How _did_ I get here?" 

"An alien brought you," Mulder said before Alex could respond, winning himself another brief and wary look from his former partner. 

"Look, Alexei, you should hear this story _after_ you've had coffee and painkillers," Alex told him with a wry grin. To Mulder's fascination, -as well as an undeniable rush of jealousy- Krycek returned the expression; an amused slant of his perfect lips that even lightened his eyes. 

"Fair enough," he shrugged, then ducked his head to stare at the floor, like he regretted having unbent even that much. 

Alex poked Mulder's arm unceremoniously and Mulder glared at him. 

"Get your clothes," Alex mouthed at him, and Mulder shook himself out of the haze he'd fallen into at the sight of that smile. He grabbed some jeans and a fresh tee shirt out of the pile of stuff he'd stashed on the dresser, subliminally aware of Krycek's attention the whole while, although the man never once looked directly at him as far as Mulder could tell. 

"If you want a shower there's clean towels in the bathroom across the hall, Alexei. See you in the kitchen," Alex said over his shoulder, practically shoving Mulder out of the room ahead of him and down the hall to his and Dana's room. 

"Shit, Alex, what is your problem?" Mulder demanded when Alex closed the door behind them. 

"Mulder, you're as single-minded as my Fox was. Give the guy a chance to adjust before you start drooling over him, would ya?" Alex said in a quietly exasperated tone. 

"I was not drooling!" 

"Keep your voice down and peddle that bullshit to somebody who doesn't know what it looks like, tovarisch. If I hadn't dragged you out of there you would have tripped over your own tongue, or worse yet, your dick." 

"Fuck you, Alex," Mulder snapped, genuinely offended before the humor in this surreal situation struck him and he started laughing. "Was I that bad?" 

"Oh, yeah, but don't worry. I don't think Alexei noticed. He doesn't believe you'd ever look at him that way, does he?" 

"How the hell did you come up with that?" Mulder was surprised as well as a little distressed by this too-accurate observation. 

"This may come as a shock to you, but I _am_ a trained investigator, and a damned good one at that," Alex replied impatiently. "He can barely stand to look at you, Mulder, and we both know it's not because he hates your guts. It's because he thinks you hate his, and he doesn't want to see it in your eyes." 

"I told you he doesn't think I'm the same Mulder." 

"What difference does that make, really? And I'd be willing to bet Alexei isn't as sure about that as he pretends. In fact, he's not too sure about anything right now. You need to give him some breathing room. Let him relax. Let him know he doesn't have to be scared." 

"Where are you getting _that_ from? He's never been afraid of me," Mulder protested half-heartedly, trying to overlook this morning and that subtle flinch. He thought instead of all the other times when Krycek had been in his face. Most recently at last week's meeting. Krycek had never seemed to give a cold damn about Mulder's usual angry reaction to him; in fact, he'd usually gone out of his way to provoke Mulder's ire. 

"He's never _behaved_ like he's afraid of you, you mean, but that's not what I'm talking about. He's afraid of his current situation, and he's afraid of how he feels about you," Alex corrected grimly. "You're not reading him right." 

"I can't read him at all... I never could," Mulder confessed with a grimace. Alex rubbed one hand over his face and bit back a sigh. 

"I don't think you _let_ yourself read him, Mulder. I think you take him at face value and then you refuse to look any deeper. Can't you tell he's putting up a front?" 

"Alex-" 

"You took psychology at Oxford, same as my Fox, right?" Alex asked to Mulder's nod. "Then do I really have to explain to you why people hide what they feel? You're his vulnerability. His kryptonite. Of course he's afraid." 

"Shit. God damn it. Okay. Maybe you're right," Mulder said, glaring at the floor and trying to wrap his mind around this new perspective. He wondered precisely when he had stopped being angry with Krycek and started being so pissed off with himself... and was self-aware enough to ruefully admit his life had been a lot simpler when Krycek had been the target. 

"I _know_ I'm right. Now take your shower." 

"Anybody ever tell you you're a bossy son of a bitch, Alex?" 

Alex started to leave, pausing halfway out the door to quirk an evil grin in Mulder's direction. 

"Actually, yeah. I've heard that a time or two. So make sure you jack off while you're in there and get your libido under control," he added as a parting shot, snickering as he slammed the door shut between himself and Mulder. 

Mulder was still chuckling when he finally got into the shower, but his amusement faded when it occurred to him to wonder if he'd ever be able to share that kind of easy, _friendly_ humor with his Alex Krycek. 

++++++++++++ 

"So, you want some hair of the dog that bit you?" Alex was asking Krycek as Mulder walked into the kitchen. 

Mulder lingered by the door to survey the unlikely scene, wishing he'd been quicker than Krycek at getting out of the shower. Alex was sitting at the table next to Krycek, who appeared unusually pale in a slightly-too-big navy tee shirt, his hair still damp. 

For whatever reason, seeing them side by side intensified the few discrepancies between them, and a quick glance at Scully revealed she was running her own inventory. Alex was amazingly relaxed, but Mulder thought his rat seemed tense and felt his own anxiety levels rise correspondingly. 

The dogs were nowhere to be seen, and Mulder assumed they'd been put outside, which made him wonder if the Rottie had growled at Krycek again. 

Scully stood beside the counter silently supervising the toaster, and Krycek occasionally targeted her with an expression that Mulder would have called apprehensive on anybody else. 

"N- No, thank you. I don't usually drink," Krycek explained huskily, flashing Mulder a fast look before turning his attention to his coffee mug. 

Alex raised a speaking eyebrow in Mulder's direction. Mulder dropped into his chair without a word. Krycek had taken a seat that enabled him to watch both doors and the windows, which ended up putting him between Alex and Mulder. That Krycek felt trapped was evident in the sudden stillness of his body. 

Mulder gave Alex an answering eyebrow, and Alex casually got up to peer into a cabinet, pulling out an economy sized bottle of ibuprofen and a box of Zantac that he pushed across the table towards Krycek. 

"Here you go, Alexei," he said, withdrawing to lean against the counter near Scully, who gave him a smile. 

"Thanks," Krycek muttered, staring blankly at the two of them before retrieving the bottle of ibuprofen. He used his right hand to place the pill bottle in his left, securing it before he pried off the lid. Mulder ached to help him, but had sense enough to realize it would be the worst thing he could do. 

"We saw the alien... heal your arm after he brought you here last night. Is it... how's your coordination?" Scully ventured. 

Krycek very deliberately shook four of the tablets onto the tabletop, replaced the lid, then set the bottle down; proceeding to pick up the tablets with his left index finger and thumb. One at a time, swallowing them with the last of his coffee before looking in Scully's direction, his face arranged to betray nothing beyond his little demonstration. 

"Fine. Why did he do it, do you know?" 

"What? Bring you here, or heal your arm?" Alex asked, and Krycek lowered his gaze. 

"Either. Both." 

"He said you were in danger from a Consortium hit squad," Mulder said, reaching for the bottle and pouring out his own dose of headache reliever. He had a feeling he was going to need it. 

Alex handed him a glass of water and Scully set a saucer of toast halfway between him and Krycek. 

"You should both try to eat some of that so the ibuprofen doesn't upset your stomachs," she instructed in a gentle tone, and Krycek's eyes flew up to look at her again, plainly startled that she spoke to him kindly. 

As if Krycek was afraid of disobeying Scully -an attitude that bothered Mulder for some reason he couldn't quite identify- Krycek carefully seized a piece of toast, this time using his right hand to hold it while he tore off bites with his left. His fingers trembled faintly, and Mulder thought it seemed like an effort for him to use the new limb, but realized that wouldn't improve without his working at it. 

"Alexei, would you like some juice? More coffee?" Scully asked, placing a fresh cup in front of Mulder, who sighed gratefully until he remembered it was decaf. Mulder was of the opinion that there was no need to drink coffee at all if you weren't going to benefit from the caffeine, but he had to admit it smelled and tasted good anyway. He swallowed his ibuprofen and snagged himself a slice of toast, keeping half an eye on his uneasy companion. 

"N- no, thank you," Krycek answered in a low voice. "S- some water, maybe?" 

"Of course. That's a good idea, you need the fluids." 

"Here, have the rest of mine," Mulder said, sliding his glass over and fighting the urge to flinch when Krycek gave him one of those wary, skittering glances. Alex was right, as much as it pained Mulder to admit it. Krycek was plainly scared, probably as scared as Mulder had ever seen him... which was saying something, given Mulder's memory of Krycek's near hysterical outburst in the Tunguska gulag. 

"Say, Alexei, you can have something besides bread and water, you know," Alex remarked easily. Krycek looked at him and quirked his lips in a tiny grin. Mulder envied Alex's calm, matter-of-fact attitude almost as much as he envied the way Alex got Krycek to respond. 

"I don't think I can handle anything else right now, but thank you," Krycek said, seeming microscopically more relaxed. "This alien- was it one of the ones we've seen before? Shapeshifter, Gray, Rebel... oil alien?" 

Mulder shook his head, wondering if he'd imagined the way Krycek's voice tightened on those last words. 

"I'd have to say this alien was something completely different. A lot more advanced. He used what appeared to be some kind of telekinetic manipulation to control our movements," Alex commented, his eyes on Krycek. "He called himself 'Q' and made a reference to the 24th century, but he didn't offer much information about himself. Itself. He _appeared_ to be a human male." Alex shrugged. 

"I don't get it. Why bring me _here_? Why... heal my arm?" Krycek sounded genuinely bewildered. Scully slid into a chair across from him and regarded him seriously. 

"He said he'd been studying the alternate realities of 20th century Earth, and there were constants in each reality. He told Alex, Mulder, and me that we are three of those constants, but he also said-" Scully hesitated, her gaze turning briefly to Alex before she refocused it on Krycek, who stared from her to Alex like he was hypnotized by the sight. 

"I don't really know how to phrase this. He said Alex is a focal point in all the realities, which I guess makes _you_ a focal point in _your_ reality, Alexei. According to Q, in this reality we've done what we were supposed to do in order to maintain the timeline. We've destroyed the Consortium here and driven off the Colonists. He indicated that the job wasn't finished in your reality but you were going to need some recovery time first." 

"Just what did he say I needed to recover from?" Krycek asked suspiciously, and Mulder felt a knot forming in his gut when he tried to figure out the best way to answer that. Alex spoke first, though. 

"He told us you'd been imprisoned in Tunisia. You were pretty beat up, Alexei." 

"Yeah, well. Nothing new about that," Krycek noted with what sounded like relief as well as his usual smirk, giving Mulder a sideways look. Mulder thought he'd never been so glad to see that expression and was willing to forgive Krycek's unspoken implication. 

"It's going to take you some time to get comfortable using your arm, too," Scully commented in the same quiet tone she'd been using with Krycek all morning. Krycek lifted said arm and flexed the elbow carefully before looking up to meet Scully's eyes. 

"Not that I'm not grateful, but I'm damned tired of being fucked around with by aliens." 

Alex laughed, startling Krycek and Mulder. 

"That's how I felt when I came out of the silo," he explained, nodding at Krycek's surprise. "Oh, yeah, it happened to me, too." 

"How did you get out?" Krycek asked, more than casual interest in his voice. 

"Dana and Walter got me out." 

"Walter... _Skinner_?" 

"Yeah. What about you? How did you get out?" 

"I don't know. I thought maybe- Never mind," Krycek said with a grimace. "So, no more Consortium and no more Colonists here, huh? How did you do it?" 

This was something Mulder wanted to know as well. 

"You could say it was a group effort," Alex remarked thoughtfully, with a small grin for his wife. "After we obtained a sample of the Tunguska vaccine, Dana, Brian Pendrell and some doctor friends of theirs refined it. We managed to get it out into the general population, so by the time the rebel aliens fried most of the Consortium, we- the loyalists at the Bureau, that is, had a head start on neutralizing the remainder. The Gunmen were invaluable, as well. They helped gather information on the locations of Consortium strongholds worldwide, hacking into their security systems and spreading disinformation on their side while they were getting the truth out there for rest of us. Of course, there were a lot of people who didn't believe any of it, just like there are still people who don't believe Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, but in the end the true believers outnumbered the nonbelievers." 

"A- A _group effort_? You- you're still with the Bureau, then?" 

Alex nodded at Krycek's disbelieving question. 

"Still with the X-Files, yeah." 

"But... what about Spender? How did you-" 

"Spender killed himself in prison. You have to realize, things happened differently in this reality, Alexei. Very differently," Alex reminded gently, something in his tone alerting Mulder to pay close attention. Krycek was obviously upset, methodically rubbing his right thumb over the palm of his left hand, jaw muscles twitching convulsively. 

"And the Colonists?" Krycek asked, his voice a harsh rasp. 

Alex gave Krycek a rather grim smile. 

"The Russian Resistance, uh, _neutralized_ a couple of the Colonists' bases and gave us a tactical advantage in dealing with the ones that were left... even though no one in the Americas or Western Europe wanted to use their method. The Colonists weren't sure that we wouldn't, though, and a significant number of them chose to leave rather than wait around to see." 

Krycek closed his eyes and bit his lip, taking a deep breath before he spoke. 

"How many?" 

"We don't really know... somewhere over half a million by our best estimate. I can tell you that Klyuchevskaya Sopka and most of the Kamchatka peninsula no longer exists. They also took out the base at Vinson Massif in Antarctica. Almost started World War Three." 

Krycek lowered his face to stare at the floor and Alex looked at Mulder, who was staring at him in confusion. 

"A bomb," Alex mouthed, and Mulder felt his eyes go wide as he realized Alex didn't mean 'a bomb', he meant 'A' bomb, as in atomic, and that his 'over half a million' were estimated fatalities. Alex sighed, his expression momentarily bleak. 

Scully got up and gave her husband a brief hug. 

"I've got to get ready to go," she said quietly, and Alex nodded. 

"Light some candles for me," he murmured, winning himself a kiss on the cheek. 

"I always do." 

By the time she left the room, Krycek had straightened up and schooled his expression, but Mulder thought he still looked shocked. He was horribly pale; eyes burning like green coals in his white face. 

"That plan was proposed in my reality, too," Krycek whispered unsteadily, looking at Alex and missing Mulder's flinch. Alex saw it. 

"What changed their minds, Alexei?" Alex asked, and Krycek's head jerked back like he'd been struck before he wrapped his arms around his middle and hunched over, hiding his face. 

"I did," he confessed in a strangled tone. "When Gennady Ivan'ich suggested it, I made sure his opposition argued against him... and when he didn't let it go, I- I-" He looked up at Alex, wild-eyed, and Mulder felt his stomach lurch. 

"I killed him. I had to. He couldn't be allowed to- _over half a million people_! And the available intelligence said he _would_ start World War Three! It would have meant _billions_ of- Oh, God, what did I do?" Krycek covered his face with his right hand, his shoulders shaking. 

Mulder couldn't stand it. He got up from his chair to kneel in front of Krycek, pulling the distraught man out of his seat and into his arms. Mulder wrapped him up tightly, despite the stiffening posture of that already tense form, so warm and hard. 

"You weren't wrong, Alex. _Things are different_ here, you've got to remember that. You did the right thing, and saved hundreds of thousands of people-" 

"Saved them for what? To be used as breeding stock for the fucking Colonists?" Krycek gasped out between shuddering breaths, and Mulder realized he was trying very hard not to cry. It brought tears to his own eyes, and he cupped one hand behind that dark head and held it to the crook of his neck, his other hand smoothing along Krycek's back. 

"No! There's got to be another answer, and you'll find it, I know you will. *We'll* find it, Alex. We _will_!" 

Mulder didn't even realize what he'd given away until Krycek shoved him hard, sending him sprawling onto his ass. 

" _We_?" Krycek almost shouted, scooting as far from Mulder as he could get until he was backed up against the wall. "There is no fucking _we_ , Mulder, there never was! I should have known- I- this is all some kind of fucking trick, isn't it? You and Scully- where'd you get the clone, huh? What is it you're trying to get me to admit? That I killed that bastard Spender? Fine, I admit it! I- I- _God_ I- can't- can't-" 

What Krycek couldn't do was catch his breath, apparently in the midst of a full-blown anxiety attack. Mulder doubted Alex Krycek had ever had one in his life, and hated himself for being the precipitating factor. 

Mulder crawled over to where Krycek was currently trying to push himself through the wall, hands covering his head like he expected to be beaten. Sucking up his courage, Mulder reached out to that huddled figure with one trembling hand. Krycek flinched away from his touch like it burned, shivering like a fever patient, and struggling for air. He almost sounded like an asthmatic, hyperventilating in short, choppy pants that were painful to hear. 

"Alex. Alex, please. _Please_ listen to me. Nobody is trying to trick you, I promise. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please, this is all my fault, Alex. _Please_ let me fix it. _Please_ let me, I'm begging you, Alex," Mulder pleaded, barely aware of what he was saying, he was that desperate to calm Krycek down. His peripheral vision saw Alex slip out the door, in the kind of deliberate hurry that Mulder associated with medical emergencies and similar crises, so he figured Alex was going after Scully. 

"You- you don't- want- to help- _me_ , Mulder- you- you _never_ un- understood- just wanted- to see me dead." 

"No! Alex, that's not- I don't want that! Please!" 

Scully showed up in nothing but a slip and pantyhose, Alex right behind her. She had a syringe ready in her hand, which she handed to Alex before pushing past Mulder, kneeling beside Krycek. 

"Alexei. Let me help you." 

"Scully- can't- can't breathe," Krycek managed, not looking at her. He was sweaty and ashen pale, still shaking. She glanced at Mulder, as if to ask 'what did you do to him' then rested her hand on Krycek's left arm. 

"I know, Alexei. Will you let me give you something for that? I won't hurt you." 

"Know- know you're- good at- autopsies, Doctor- Scully- but I'm not- dead yet." 

"You're not going to die, Alexei. Come on, I've taken care of live patients a time or two," she murmured softly, and it was as if the fight just went out of Krycek. He nodded, then hung his head, chest still heaving as she pushed up his shirtsleeve. Alex handed her the syringe at her signal and Scully carefully injected the medication into Krycek's deltoid, then handed the empty syringe back to Alex, massaging the tiny wound in small soothing circles. 

"You're going to be okay." 

"Don't- don't let- Mulder- hurt me." 

" _Nobody_ is going to hurt you, Alexei. You have my word," Scully swore a bit unsteadily. 

Mulder realized her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. His, on the other hand, were trickling down his face in a steady stream. Mulder swallowed, sick at what he'd wrought. Even if he'd never developed feelings for Alex Krycek, he'd had no right to treat the man the way he'd done over the years. No matter what he thought Krycek had done. _His_ Scully had tried to tell him that on more than one occasion. She'd urged him to behave like the federal agent he _was_ instead of the revengeful vigilante he became in Krycek's presence... and now, when he wanted so much to change things between Krycek and himself, Krycek couldn't accept it. 

Mulder couldn't blame him. 

"Honest- Scully. Never- never thanked you-" 

"Shh, Alexei. Stop talking and breathe. Breathe with me." She set his left palm on the bare skin above her breasts. "Breathe in," she inhaled slowly. "Breathe out... breathe in... breathe out... That's right, just like that. It's going to be okay, Alexei. Nobody here is going to hurt you. We just want you to get well." 

"Not- Mulder. He-" 

"Yes, Alexei, even Mulder. Q brought you both here for a reason, and I think it's so you two can learn to get along. Isn't it time?" 

"Was never- my decision." 

Krycek took a deeper breath, his respiratory rate finally beginning to slow a bit, more from Scully's continued reassurances than the medication, which hadn't had time to start working very strongly yet. 

Alex took the opportunity to help Mulder up, herding him towards the other side of the room with one hand on his elbow. Mulder was torn between appreciating that supportive grasp, to wanting to take Alex's head off for making him move. Only the certain knowledge that Krycek didn't want him near gave him the strength to keep his mouth shut. 

"What did you- give me? Stings." 

"Diazepam, ten milligrams. It's probably going to hit you pretty hard since you had so much to drink last night. It's a perfectly safe tranquilizer and it isn't going to hurt you, Alexei. It wouldn't be such a bad idea for you to get some more sleep, you know," she said in a teasing voice, and Krycek finally raised his head and looked at her, green eyes overbright as they fixed on her little smile. 

"I wish this- was my reality," he said hoarsely. "Always- liked you, Scully." 

Scully closed her eyes for a moment, then embraced him like it was something she _had_ to do, drawing his head to rest against her chest and rocking him like a child. 

"I know," she whispered, and hugged him for a long minute before easing him away. "I want you to come lie down on the sofa, Alexei, before the medicine kicks in, or we'll be bringing you a pillow and a blanket right here." 

She got up and helped Krycek stand, balancing him when he swayed, then walked him into the living room. Krycek didn't give either Mulder or Alex a backward glance, although Scully turned to look at her husband, shooting him a sad little smile. 

Mulder scrubbed at his face impatiently. Alex turned Mulder his way. 

"Are _you_ all right?" 

Mulder shook his head. 

"I really fucked that up, didn't I." 

"It wasn't you... not entirely, anyway. Believe it or not, Mulder, but you're not responsible for everything that upset Alexei. What you said to him was just the match to the fuse. Jesus. I don't suppose you know this, but our mother's family was from Tilichiki, on the Kamchatka peninsula. He was already in shock before you said anything." Alex sighed heavily. "I didn't have any contacts in the Russian Resistance. Stayed in America too long, I guess. I might have considered taking out Gennady Feodorov myself before he-" 

Alex stopped and rubbed one hand over his head. 

"We still would have defeated the Colonists, you know. It would have taken longer, but half a million people would still be alive. What a burden our Alexei bears, knowing what he knows," he said in a tone so low he could have been talking to himself. He walked out of the kitchen, leaving Mulder questioning everything he ever thought he knew about Alex Krycek. 

++++++++++++ 

When Mulder eventually got up the nerve to follow Alex into the living room, Scully wasn't there. Krycek was stretched out on the sofa, lying on his side with his head in Alex's lap, visibly fighting the sedative. Alex was stroking his hair. 

Mulder had to stomp down a fresh surge of jealousy, silently seating himself in a chair. Recalling the scene the alien had shown them yesterday evening, Mulder acknowledged the obvious parallels, and spared himself a hopeless wish that _he_ could be the one comforting Alex Krycek this time. 

He had to wonder if that was _ever_ going to happen, and knowing that he only had himself to blame didn't help any. He'd been so fucking arrogant to assume that all he had to do was grab Krycek and everything would be okay... that because Alex Krycek loved him, he'd just fall into Mulder's arms. 

He thought about every time he'd sworn he'd never forgive Krycek for the things Krycek had done. How ironic, to realize Krycek might never forgive _him_. 

"M'sorry I called you a clone, 'lex," Krycek said out of nowhere, his voice drowsy. 

"It's okay, Alexei. You were upset, and it was a natural assumption," Alex assured him after a quick glance in Mulder's direction. 

"Where's Scully goin'?" 

"To Mass. She'll meet Missy and their mom at the church. They go together every Sunday." 

"Missy- M'lissa Scully? She's alive here?" Krycek asked in a whisper, turning to search Alex's face. Alex nodded, holding that cloudy gaze with his. 

"What is it, Alexei? Talk to me," Alex urged quietly. 

"Y'sure it's her and not a- not a clone?" 

"What are you say-" Mulder began, and Alex gestured for him to shut up with an impatient wave. 

"Melissa _had_ clones here, but they're all dead now. What happened to her in your reality?" 

"Spender- Spender had her abducted. He was gonna use her as a- a bargainin' chip to control Scully, but M'lissa -" Krycek's breath caught. "M'lissa died durin' an experiment. Spender was livid. He'd already had her cloned... son of bitch cloned people like breedin' rabbits," he added wearily, his eyes drifting shut. 

Alex shot Mulder a hard glare and Mulder bit his tongue on the accusation he was about to make; that Krycek was lying through his goddamned teeth. 

"What happened after that?" 

"He sent- he sent the clone in to take M'lissa's place. I kept waitin' for somebody to notice. Months went by and nobody fuckin' noticed." 

Krycek's face crumpled, and he turned over onto his other side, placing his back to the room, and to Mulder. 

"Spender fin'ly ordered the clone to kill Scully and steal back a dig'tal tape he thought she had- DOD information. I- I couldn't let that happen," Krycek's voice was thready and weak, and Mulder finally understood he was _crying_. Astonishment kept him silent as Krycek went on. 

"Spender sent... two of us to... back up the clone. We were s'posed to make- make sure the clone did the job and returned to Spender. He liked- liked to-" 

"I _know_ what Spender liked doing with the clones, Alexei. You don't have to say it," Alex assured him with audible repugnance. "What happened to the clone?" 

Krycek took a couple of deep breaths, steadying himself and wiping his face. 

"The guy I was with... Luis Cardinale. Didja know him here?" 

"Oh, yeah. Luis the Loony. Bad news. The kind of guy who would shoot first and ask questions later." 

"Thas zackly what he did. He shot the clone, but he thought he was shootin' Dana Scully. I knew it wasn't her... I knew where she was, so I let him- Hell, I encouraged him. I wanted that clone stopped." 

"Why, Alexei?" 

"I din't want Scully t'get whacked. Mulder woulda gone nuts. An I couldn't stand the thought of Spender touchin' M'lissa's clone. M'lissa was... special," Krycek explained, his arms wrapped around his gut like it hurt. 

"Yeah, she is... what was she to you, Alexei?" Alex wondered. 

"We were friends, jus' friends. We met in college. She was always laughin' bout somethin'... I couldn't believe it when I ended up in the FBI and met her sister... so different," Krycek's voice trailed away, and Mulder thought for a moment he'd nodded off to sleep. 

"What happened to your Luis?" Alex prodded. 

"Spender haddim murdered in jail. What happened t'him here?" 

"We were given a copy of the DAT here, too, and when Cardinale tried to get it back, Walter Skinner shot him. Saved my life. What happened to your digital tape, Alexei? Did your Scully have it?" 

Krycek sighed and yawned. 

Mulder didn't need the look Alex gave him to continue keeping his mouth shut. Now that Krycek was talking, Mulder didn't want to do anything to fuck that up, and not just because he wanted the information, either. Instinct told him that Krycek had to start unloading some of this crap or lose his mind to it... and his story about Melissa Scully and her clone had the undeniable ring of a terrible truth. 

At the time, none of them had known much about the Consortium's cloning program. They hadn't suspected then that it was possible for a person to be replaced with a ringer. If Mulder hadn't seen for himself the supposed clones of his sister, as well as his Scully's 'daughter' Emily, he'd still have trouble believing it. 

"Alexei? What happened to your Scully and the tape?" 

"Scully din't have it, Skinner did. Spender sent me, Luis, an' another guy to take it way from him. Spender wanted us to kill Skinner, you know. S'almost funny... everbody in my reality thinks I'm a stone cold killer, but they don't know... been jumpin' through hoops t'keep from carryin' out all the hits Spender's ordered. We caught Skinner inna stairwell and hit him enough to put him down... Least I was able to leave him alive. I took the DAT from him, but I din't give it back to Spender." 

Krycek leaned his head forward and let Alex knead the back of his neck, his breath escaping in a tiny hiss that made Mulder shiver. 

"Thas nice. Head still hurts." 

"Yeah, I bet it does. What did you do with the tape, Alexei?" Alex persisted in his low, husky voice, reminding Mulder all over again of something he'd said to Mulder earlier. Alex _was_ a good investigator, clearly accustomed to unobtrusively questioning traumatized victims. 

"After the clone was killed Spender tried t'blow me up with a car bomb. Thought he'd get rid of the DAT _and_ me. I got outa the car just b'fore it sploded. I hadda tape on me so I left the country and went t'Hong Kong." 

"And that's where the oilien got you, right?" 

"Oh, yeah." Krycek yawned again, shifting restlessly, battling the effects of the valium but slowly losing. "One hell for nother. Flew alla way back to the States with Mulder, and I dunno if he _ever_ realized he was sittin' beside a fuckin' alien. Oilien gave the tape back t'Spender, ya know." 

Green eyes fixed on identical green eyes, and Mulder was careful to remain absolutely motionless. He didn't think Krycek even realized he was still in the room. 

"And what was the hold Spender had over _you_ all this time, Alexei?" Alex asked, his voice so incredibly tender that Mulder felt his heart clench. 

"Dontcha know?" Krycek asked, his own tone despairing. "Mulder. S'always been Mulder. 'Keep your mouth shut, Krycek, or Mulder'll pay. Do what we tell you, Krycek, or Mulder'll suffer. Get this file, plant that bug, kill Bill Mulder or your Fox is a dead man'. How the hell else d'ya think they roped me back in after the car bomb and the silo? I'm so tired, 'lex. So fuckin' tired." 

Krycek closed his eyes and rolled almost onto his stomach, hiding his face in Alex's lap. Alex petted his head, fingers soothing through that dark hair, so like his own. 

"I know, Alexei. I understand. I do," Alex murmured, silently asking Mulder "Do _you_?" and Mulder, nauseated to the point of having to put his hand over his mouth, actually did. 

In this reality, with his Mulder dead, Alex had been free to do whatever it took to pull down the Consortium... but Mulder's Alex Krycek had been hamstrung by his own need to keep Mulder alive. The implications washed through Mulder's head, dislodging the facts as he'd known them and rearranging his mental landscape. The idea that Krycek had killed his father only to save his life was a painful one, yet at the same time, Mulder had to admit to a feeling of relief. Now he knew, now he had a reason he could understand... and even forgive. 

"C'n I go t'sleep now, 'lex? Terrogation over?" Krycek asked in a muffled plaint, and Alex smiled at him, although he didn't see it. 

"Yeah, Alexei. The 'terrogation' is over. Time to sleep." 

"Thas good, cuz Scully's drug's kickin' my ass," Krycek mumbled and quieted, soft snores issuing forth a few moments later. 

Alex heaved a sigh, looking at Mulder. 

"What a fucked up mess. No wonder Alexei is so close to a breakdown. I'm surprised he's lasted this long. I knew he had to be strong, hell, *I'm* strong... but all this... Christ, anybody else would have folded years ago." 

"I didn't know," Mulder said helplessly past the lump in his throat, still trying to integrate what he'd heard into his own reality. "I- how am I supposed to-" 

"How are you supposed to fix it? Fix him? I don't know, Mulder. I'm starting to understand why Q brought him _here_." Alex chewed on his bottom lip. "How long has it been since you and he were able to be in the same room together and have a civil conversation?" 

Mulder thought for a moment. He doubted this morning would count, since Krycek hadn't been sure who he was, then. Last week's meeting was definitely out. Skinner had had to stand between Krycek and him. There was the time Krycek had given him that kiss on the cheek with the Wiekamp tip, but that meeting had started out with a scuffle and ended practically at gunpoint. Tunguska? No. He could still hear Krycek telling him "Don't touch me," and look how all that had turned out for Krycek. The night Krycek spent on Skinner's balcony, the militia bust, the whole Hong Kong thing... and the time before that, Mulder would have killed Krycek if Scully hadn't shot him first. 

Shit. 

"Six years? Since we were partners, I guess." 

"And still he loves you." Alex shook his head. "That's pretty incredible, when you think about it." 

"Is it? You still love your Fox Mulder," Mulder pointed out irritably. 

"Yeah, well, my Fox didn't get to spend the last six years hating my guts, either. I bet if you gave Alexei the choice, he would rather have you alive and hating him than dead... I know I would," Alex added in a harsh rasp, covering his eyes with one hand while he stroked Krycek's head with the other, as if he was comforting himself. 

Mulder gave himself a mental kick. 

"I'm sorry, Alex. That was a stupid thing to say." 

"Yeah it was... but it's okay, Mulder. Seeing Alexei makes me realize how damned lucky I am... and you know what? I've learned something, too... something I always knew in my head but never believed in my heart until I met the two of you," Alex said, looking at Mulder with a faint grin. "Fox was pissed off at me when he died... but he would have gotten over it, and he wouldn't have stopped loving me either. We would have worked it out. I still believe you and Alexei can work it out, too." 

"I wish I had your faith, Alex. What's the use of working anything out, when Q said we wouldn't remember this anyway?" Mulder asked, pressing the balls of his hands into his temples and massaging the tense aching there, wrestling back an impulse to cry. 

"What he said was, you wouldn't have any _conscious_ memories of it. Love isn't a conscious emotion. It will still be there." Alex held out his hand. "Come change places with me. We really can't leave Alexei alone. Dana didn't want to give him a sedative, especially after all that alcohol. He needs to be watched." 

Mulder looked at him doubtfully. 

"He won't appreciate waking up with his head in my lap, Alex." 

"I think he'll appreciate it just fine subconsciously. He needs to get used to the idea that your feelings have changed, Mulder, and you've got to start showing him somewhere. Letting him see it when he first wakes up and his defenses are down should work." 

"Did I happen to mention you're a bossy son of a bitch?" Mulder asked wryly as he got up, and watched Alex's version of the Krycek smirk. 

"I'll bet you a bottle of Stoli you'll tell me that at least once more before this is all over with," Alex replied as they carefully exchanged positions, one or the other of them supporting Krycek's head until Mulder could rest it safely in his own lap. Before he could think of an appropriate retort, Alex had an ottoman shoved under his legs and handed him a pillow to wedge against the wing arm of the sofa. Mulder leaned his head against it and was surprised to find he was actually comfortable. 

"You could do with some rest, too, Mulder, and don't try to deny it." 

"Thought you said Krycek needed to be watched?" 

"Yeah, and so do you. Now I can watch you both." 

"You're not getting that bottle out of me that easily," Mulder grumbled. Alex patted the top of his head with a grin. 

"I'll keep trying. You look cute like that," Alex mused, and startled a laugh out of Mulder. 

"Fuck you, Alex." 

"That's what they all say. I'm going to go let the dogs in, take a shower, then start lunch. We usually eat our Sunday meal after Dana gets back from church. Uh, you do know, Walter and Missy are probably going to show up here this afternoon." 

"Oh, great. Krycek will love that," Mulder said in some dread. 

"I hope he'll sleep through it, actually," Alex remarked. "Shout if you need me." He turned to walk away toward the kitchen. 

"Alex, wait. Skinner won't- he won't shoot Al- Alexei for being a clone, will he?" 

"No. Dana will have explained it all to him by then. Don't worry." 

"Hard to imagine a Skinner that believes in aliens and alternate realities," Mulder commented, and almost broke his jaw on a sudden yawn. Maybe he _could_ use a little rest. It had been a long and stressful morning. 

"Our Walter's seen a few aliens over the years," Mulder heard Alex explain. He had just enough time to appreciate how nice it was to sit here with Krycek's head in his lap before his eyes drifted shut and he nodded off. 

++++++++++++ 

He wasn't sure what disturbed him, but Mulder awakened to find Krycek's rather glazed green eyes staring at him unblinkingly. Krycek's pupils were somewhat dilated, and Mulder realized he must still be pretty doped up. Noises from the kitchen told Mulder where their host was. He was relieved to see they were otherwise alone. He'd been half afraid he'd wake up and find Skinner sitting in here watching them sleep, gun in hand. 

"Alex? Are you all right?" He whispered, automatically feathering his fingers through Krycek's silky hair, something Krycek allowed without protest. 

"Fox, whatcha doin'?" 

Oh, yeah, definitely still under the influence. Mulder couldn't prevent a smile; thrilled beyond all reasonable expectations when Krycek returned it as guilelessly as a child, those pretty pink lips in a sweet curve. 

"I fell asleep," Mulder confided quietly and almost jumped when Krycek rubbed his face against Mulder's thigh. 

"Y'know, if you wouldn' sleep onna couch alla time you'd ress better at night," Krycek informed him in a slurred drawl, and Mulder had to laugh, something Krycek observed with visible surprise. 

"Nice. I like this dream." 

"Are you dreaming, Alex?" 

"Mus' be... why dontcha lie down with me, Fox? S'my dream, y'know." 

"Okay. Raise your head up a minute." Mulder slid off the sofa and handed Krycek the pillow he'd been using. "Scoot over some, Alex." 

"Kay," Krycek said agreeably, rolling until his back was pressed against the back of the sofa then holding his arms out for Mulder, who had to blink against the sudden stinging in his eyes. Carefully arranging himself, Mulder stretched out next to Krycek, tucking his head under Krycek's chin, and felt those arms close around him. 

God, this was pure heaven, Mulder thought, a few tears slipping free when he felt Krycek kiss the top of his head. It didn't matter that the sofa was really too narrow, causing him to lie on one arm and dangle his feet off the edge. 

Krycek shifted a bit, hooked one leg across Mulder's, and the only thing that could have made it more perfect would have been Krycek's undrugged and still willing participation. Mulder let out a satisfied sigh, curling his free arm around Krycek's side. 

"I like your dream, too, Alex," he murmured, lost in the smell and sensation of that long body, a solid warmth against him. "Maybe I should get a supply of those drugs from Scully." 

"Drugs'r bad for you, Fox," Krycek pronounced with great solemnity, and Mulder giggled before he could stop himself. 

"Whasso funny?" 

"Nothing, baby. I'm just happy," Mulder replied, realized it was true, and wondered when was the last time he'd felt this way... had he _ever_? 

"What'd you call me?" Krycek drowsily wondered, and Mulder squeezed him a little. 

"Baby. Get used to it. And you'd better remember this dream when you wake up, Alex." 

"Always do, Fox," Krycek said. Mulder felt an odd pressure on the top of his head and realized it was Krycek, yawning. 

"Go back to sleep," he ordered gently just before his own yawn caught him unawares, hearing Krycek snicker. 

"M'already asleep. Can't dream you're asleep if you hafta be asleep t'dream," Krycek pointed out with the inescapable logic of the very stoned. 

Mulder suppressed the urge to giggle again. It _did_ feel dreamy, lying here Sunday somnolent and lazing away in each other's arms. Like something normal couples might do. Mulder knew he wouldn't forget this feeling, even if Krycek did when the sedative wore off. 

Krycek's chest rose and fell in a regular rhythm, and Mulder had about decided he must have drifted back off to sleep when that low, husky, nerve-rattling voice spoke again. 

"Fox, M'not dreaming, am I. You really _my_ Fox Mulder?" 

"Yes, Alex," Mulder answered honestly, albeit apprehensively. "I'm really your Fox Mulder and this is really happening." 

"Oh. Well, why're you lying here with me like this?" 

"Because I want to," Mulder said, hoping Krycek would leave it at that. He didn't think he was up to explaining anything else, although it was only a matter of time. Krycek would realize Mulder knew how _he_ felt, and Alex had been right. Before that happened, Mulder needed to get Krycek used to the idea that his own feelings had changed. 

Mulder could practically hear the glued up wheels turning in Krycek's head, then felt him shrug. 

"Doesn' zackly feel real. Whassamatter with me?" 

"Scully gave you a shot. Do you remember?" 

"Mmm. Yeah. M'sorry I lost it." 

"Don't apologize. I think I kind of pushed you into it," Mulder admitted, knowing it was true. 

"Everthing's not your fault alla time, Fox," Krycek replied, and not even his sedated mumbling masked the tender impatience in his tone. It made Mulder feel... reassured. Cared for. Understood. Forgiven. 

He took a deep breath. 

"The Alex from here said something like that, but I still want you to know *I'm* really sorry, Alex. For everything." 

"S'okay... hey, thas crazy, idnit? Scully an' the me, here, married. Betcha our Scully'd shoot us _both_ 'f we tole her." 

Krycek snickered again, and Mulder chuckled too, even while wondering if Krycek was blowing off his apology because he didn't want it, believe it, or accept it... or because he _did_ , just that easily. 

Could it really be that easy? 

"So, 'f you're _my_ Fox Mulder, where's the one that b'longs here? You'd think he'd be here. This's gotta be worth an X-File." 

Mulder froze, something Krycek couldn't fail to miss, drugged haze notwithstanding. Shit, he should have expected this question. Krycek was far from stupid, even if he was a little slow right now, and Mulder was sure this news wouldn't set well at all. Maybe it was better Krycek find out while he was tranquilized. 

"Fox?" 

"Alex, the Mulder from this reality was killed, six years ago, when he fell from the tram on his way to Skyland Mountain." 

"No. No. Oh, God." 

Krycek's words came out in a sobbing whisper, and his arms tightened almost painfully around Mulder, who hugged back just as tightly. He kept holding on for the long minutes it took the body so near his to stop trembling and settle back down. Then he held on merely because it felt good. 

"Oh, Fox. I- I'm so glad *you're* not dead. M'sorry I didn' tell you that sooner." 

Mulder found himself smiling, hearing the honesty in that simple, heartfelt declaration. Had he presumed he'd never hear the truth from Krycek? He'd been so wrong about so many things. 

"Even though I've been an asshole towards you for the last six years?" He asked with a whimsical airiness that didn't cover his genuine regret. A strong hand cupped his chin and turned his face up, so a pair of slightly unfocused green eyes could stare into his. 

"Even if you're an asshole for th'next sixty years, Fox." 

Hardly a typical, romantic declaration of love, but it struck Mulder like one anyway, making his heart leap. Moving cautiously enough to keep himself from falling off the sofa, he squirmed around until he could raise up on his elbow, putting his face nose to nose with Krycek's. 

"I don't think it's going to take me that long to figure this out, baby," he murmured, and watched Krycek's tongue come out to nervously moisten his lips. Mulder took a breath of anticipation and closed the distance between them. Finally, _finally_ kissing _his_ Alex Krycek full on the mouth, sweetness softly welcoming his impulsive action. 

Hot. Fucking god, it was like being burned from the inside out. He was tentatively tasted then sucked right in; tongue invited to make itself at home, twining deliciously with its mate. Mulder felt the low moan Krycek surrendered, drinking it in with the wonderful flavor he discovered. Kissing the other Alex had been good, unbelievably good, but this was profound, Mulder thought dimly... to a cellular level, realigning his own body's magnetic fields, or something. This was it, this was right, this was how it was supposed to be... then Krycek broke the kiss to suck in a lungfull of air. 

Breathing wasn't a bad idea, come to think of it. 

Mulder opened his eyes and wondered why the hell he'd shut them, when he could be looking at his Alex's face. Pallor completely gone, skin pink, those ridiculously thick eyelashes slowly lifting to betray eyes gone stormsea green, and that mouth, God, that mouth. It took all the self-control he so rarely exercised to keep from repossessing Krycek's swollen red lips. 

Krycek blinked at him. 

"Mulder, why'd you do that?" 

Uh-oh. Well, it _had_ been a consciousness-altering kiss, he shouldn't be surprised if it sobered Krycek up some. 

"Because I wanted to. Because I need you to understand I want things to be different between us, Alex." 

Krycek opened his mouth to say something, that funny little wrinkle appearing above his nose, and Mulder put a hand over his mouth. 

"Let me finish. I know, I'm the one who made our situation what it is. I know I've got a lot of fucking nerve asking you to help me change it... but that's what I'm hoping for, Alex. Please." 

Mulder dropped his hand and waited. 

"I still don't unnerstan' _why_ ," Krycek said, his face very still, but this time, Mulder saw behind the mask. Everything was in those eyes; fear, doubt, longing, and a painful, wary hope. Mulder wondered if that had always been true, and if Alex had been right about that, too, when he'd said Mulder never _let_ himself _see_. 

"That alien, Q, told me he brought me here because I needed a reality check, Alex, and I got one. I've been here a couple of days, and I've found out a lot of things about this universe that made me realize that I- I'm not the center of _ours_. Meeting the Alex Krycek and Dana Scully from _here_ kind of brought that home to me." Mulder hesitated, then went on, waving a hand in the direction of the kitchen. "This Alex and _his_ Fox were lovers before Fox died. I don't know if I can explain exactly what it did to me when I heard that. I started wondering if- if you and I-" 

"Were meant to be lovers in _our_ universe?" Krycek finished for him, and Mulder nodded, unhappily noticing Krycek had paled. 

"I had to admit to myself that underneath all the anger I felt towards you were a lot of other emotions... and once I started letting the anger go -something I _had_ to do, because I couldn't put it on _this_ Alex- those other emotions became a lot clearer." 

Krycek closed his eyes for a moment, then pinned Mulder with a direct stare. 

"M'not him, Mulder. How do you know-" 

Well, this was a train of thought Mulder was determined to derail right now. 

"I _know_ , Alex. I missed you, even though he was here. You're the one I fantasize and dream about. I know which Alex Krycek I want." 

Krycek actually blushed. Mulder was enchanted by this charming phenomenon, but he had something else to say. There was something else he really needed to hear. 

"I need you to forgive me, Alex. I never treated you fairly. I didn't even treat you like a human being. I see that now, and I'm sorry." 

Krycek peered into his eyes. It occurred to Mulder they were still so close he could feel Krycek exhaling on his face, which was something he'd never been able to tolerate from anybody else. Strangely enough... or perhaps, not... it didn't seem to bother him at all when Krycek did it. 

"Are you sure you're my Fox Mulder?" Krycek asked with a sarcastic smirk that made it clear he was teasing. 

"If you'd been paying attention this morning, you would have seen the scar on my shoulder from where Scully shot me that time," Mulder said and grinned when Krycek sniffed. 

"I _did_ see that scar," Krycek informed him, lifting one eyebrow as if to remind Mulder that very little got past him, whether he was drunk, drugged, stunned or sleep-stupid. Mulder's grin widened. 

"So, will you forgive me?" 

"Of course," Krycek replied, the corner of his mouth twitching and his eyes amused. 

"Just like that?" 

"Why d'you sound so surprised? Y'want me to make you crawl?" 

"Why do I get the feeling you're laughing at me?" Mulder asked suspiciously, trying to get rid of that evocative mental image before his dick could react to it. Fortunately, Krycek offered him a distraction in the kind of non sequitur that made Mulder wonder if he'd ever understand the way Krycek's mind worked. 

"Fox, did you ever read John Donne?" 

"Are you telling me _you_ did?" 

"Don't sound so damn shocked, Mulder. I have read somethin' besides DOT s'tistics." 

"Fine, Alex, I'm sorry. What does John Donne have to do with anything, and yes I have read his work, but not since Oxford," Mulder said, pretending to more impatience than he actually felt. He was enjoying himself immensely. Krycek was still stoned enough to be less than completely articulate, but not so far out of it that Mulder had to worry that he didn't know what he was doing. 

"Thought you had an eidetic memory." 

"John Donne has a pretty extensive body of work, Krycek. How about a clue, here," Mulder urged, dropping a kiss on the end of that irresistible nose. He was rewarded with a genuinely pleased smile, before Krycek's brow furrowed in concentration. 

"'Wilt thou forgive that sin by which I've won others to sin, and made my sin their door? Wilt thou forgive that sin which I did shun a year or two, but wallowed in a score? When thou hast done, thou hast not done, for I have more'." Krycek regarded him sadly. "I still have more, Fox. Whatever you think you need forgiveness for, I've done worse." 

"Then maybe," Mulder almost whispered, nuzzling the side of Krycek's face and breathing in his scent, "we can just," tasting the tender flesh under his jaw, and feeling him tremble, "call it even, Alex," covering that mouth with his own. Tongue tracing those soft lips, tempting them to part, restraining a hot rush of passion in favor of gentleness... something Fox Mulder had _never_ shown Alex Krycek. 

Mulder wanted very badly to prove that he _could_ , and it was so good. So damned good, to offer tender kisses instead of blows, respect instead of insults, caring instead of anger. Love, instead of hate. 

The outside world fell away, past and future dissolving under the touch of clinging lips and cradling hands, nothing and nowhere besides each other. 

Neither heard the front door snick open, or the tread of footsteps walking in, or the startled gasps that followed. 

Mulder found himself forcibly yanked off Krycek and dropped in the floor like so much trash, met with the sight of an absolutely furious, red-faced Walter Skinner, who had a fistful of Krycek's collar, shaking roughly. 

Krycek's equally furious expression spoke of imminent doom. 

"Oh, God," Mulder muttered, but nobody heard him over Skinner's roar. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Alex?" 

End Part Three  
8 July, 2002 

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If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Polly Bywater 


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